SOUND OF NAZI NATIONAL ANTHEM PLAYING IN BACKGROUND (IN ENGLISH) “………..tomorrow belongs to me”
SOUND OF CHAIN AND HANDCUFFS DROPPING TO THE FLOOR
SOUND OF MAGIC WAND SHOOTING PAPER
SOUND OF MAGIC WAND SHOOTING FIREBALL
“Welcome to Hell. Dayton Ohio 2006”
“I am Izan Knarf….the Nazi Clown Magician………I have been in Hell for 60 years….I have come to entertain you”
“I am really a nice guy…..just because I have this thing on my head doesn’t mean I an not nice……..look a bad guy wouldn’t have a bunch of hearts….he would probably have skulls floating through the air.”
“It’s hot in here…I don’t know if you guys caught that or not…I have a fan to cool me down. In just a little bit here I am going to tell you about hell……My fucking fan….A damn capitalist sold this to me….There are a lot of Capitalist in hell…that’s for sure….they are into the economy thing obviously.”
“Well I guess I should do some tricks for you……..I have a watch here and here in hell we have fixations with time…since we are here for eternity….So I am going to see if I can make time disappear. ….”
“It is hard to breath in Hell…I am getting short of breath…Abacadabra Abacadazan time, time where I am…….and it’s gone.”
“Let’s see if I can bring it back………Here I have another kerchief….”
UNEXPECTED QUESTION FROM AUDIENCE, “Why would want to bring it back?”
“Why would we bring it back? ”
AUDIENCE MEMBER, “Yes”
“because it is fun to play with time…right?..so here we go….abacadabra, abraca-time…come back again and lets us see…..fucking pennies…..time is gone….pennies from Hell….Those capitalist that is what it is…Here go buy….whatever you can buy with a fucking penny…”
SOUND OF PENNIES HITTING THE STAGE.
“I don’t know much about time but I know its time for lunch….so I am going to see what I’ve got for lunch here….We have got plenty to eat in hell…the only problem is our cooks are Ed Gein, Jeff Dahmer, and Ed’s momma Edna….we will see what we got……the usual …..left over’s.”
“The one thing about hell….I will fill you in on what not to do so you don’t have to be in hell with me…..Number one don’t eat people….you don’t be a serial killer….you don’t kill your mama…but most of all you never ever be a capitalist….”
“I am a good guy….I will tell you this stuff…..So why am I here…Well it was that bullet thing. The Magicians, fourteen great magicians they are here in hell with me….as well as Bush and Cheney, Roosevelt, Truman….No…Bush and Cheney are not here yet…It is that time thing..”
“Well anyway the bullet catch…. I am going to do the bullet catch for you…..I have to give an audience member my gun….And you can only shoot me one time because…It takes me a while to catch it. …and you gotta wait – don’t shoot now – I can’t see the bullet. You gotta wait till I get back then I will have time to see it…remember you can only one shot….One shot is all you can do…I will tell you when. Are you read?...Go”
TWO SHOTS ARE HEARD………ONE BULLET SOUND ON FLOOR.
“You shot twice….I told you could only shoot one time…Now you have killed me….Well you can’t kill me I am already dead……….”
“Wait…I hear ticking sound…shuuu….Maybe I am alive….maybe I have a heart…Nah only that watch again….still dead.”
“So anyway too dangerous place this hell thing…or Dayton Hell hole….so I need to go back to hell…”
“I need some help…….You’ve got to call my name three times…my name is Izan Knarf…backwards…You’ve got to call it backwards…I forgot to tell you…so call my name backwards and my name backwards is Frank Nazi…So I need to hear it from the audience…so three times be loud….Frank Nazi….So here is number one…
AUDIENCE, “Frank Nazi”
“number two”
AUDIENCE, “Frank Nazi”
“louder”
AUDIENCE, “Frank Nazi”
“thank you.”
APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE